The Gift of Going First

In keeping with my one-post-old tradition of reposting something from someone else's blog, here is an old one from Stuff Christians Like. I just copied and pasted it but here is the link to the original post.

Have you ever been in a small group with people that confess safe sins? Someone will say, “I need to be honest with everyone tonight. I need to have full disclosure and submit myself in honesty. Like ODB from the Wu-Tang Clan, I need to give it to you raw!” So you brace yourself for this crazy moment of authenticity and the person takes a deep breath and says … “I haven’t been reading my Bible enough.”

Ugh, you, dirty, dirty sinner. I’m not even sure I can be in a small group with you any more. Not reading your Bible enough, that is disgusting. And then once he’s gone someone else will catch the safe sin bug too and will say, “I need to be real too. I haven’t been praying enough.”

Two of you in the same room? Wow, freak shows! I can barely stand it.

But what happens when people start confessing safe sins is that everyone else in the room starts concealing their real junk. I mean if I was surrounded by confessions like that in the eighth grade I would have instantly known I couldn’t follow the “not reading my Bible enough” guy with my own story:

“Soooo, this weekend when it was snowing I told my parents I was going to the dump to sled but instead I was really just digging through a 200 foot mountain of warm trash looking for pornography.” And the same principle would have applied to me in my late 20s. I wouldn’t have been honest sharing my struggles with Internet porn if everyone else confessed their “safe enough for small group” sins.

And that sucks. It sucks that as broken as we all are, as desperate as we all are for a Savior, we feel compelled to clean ourselves up when we get around each other.

But this blog has taught me something unbelievable. If I stop writing tomorrow, this will be the lesson I cling to the most.

When you go first, you give everyone in your church or your community or your small group or your blog, the gift of going second.

It’s so much harder to be first. No one knows what’s off limits yet and you’re setting the boundaries with your words. You’re throwing yourself on the honesty grenade and taking whatever fall out that comes with it. Going second is so much easier. And the ease only grows exponentially as people continue to share. But it has to be started somewhere. Someone has to go first and I think it has to be us.

We’re called to give the gift of second to the people in our lives. To live the truth, to share the truth, to be the truth.

Let’s give the gift of going second.

To be clear: I did not write this. I am just sharing it. But it is SO true.

Moralistic Therapeutic Deism

I read the Jesus Creed blog everyday. Scot McKnight brings up some fascinating topics and read a lot of very interesting books. One he has been working through lately is a book called "Almost Christian" by Kenda Creasy Dean.

I have not read the book. But in reading about the book I have been introduced to her basic thesis: (I am copying this right off of his blog. If there are blogging copywrite things I don't know about, please let me know)

Dean knows that the best description of youth faith is Moralistic Therapeutic Deism, a set of factors that emerged from the National Study of Youth and Religion (see Christian Smith's writings). What is MTD?

1. God exists, God created, and watches over the world.
2. God wants us to be good, nice and fair to each other.
3. The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself.
4. God is not involved except when I need God to solve a problem.
5. Good people go to heaven when they die.

Moralistic Therapeutic Deism. That is a mouthful. I am just going to go ahead and say that I agree with her for the most part but I want to hear what you all think.

I would be very much interested in this question: Assuming that MLD is NOT what following Jesus is about, then what is following Jesus (being a Christian) about? Why is Jesus necessary? Why should people give their lives and put their trust in Jesus?

Please feel free to comment. I want to know what people think. Please also be respectful of people who comment something you may disagree with.

Just a quick note: No one ever got crucified for telling people to be nice and happy.

Where Moth and Rust (and Termites!) Destroy

I recently read a book called "The Hopeful Skeptic" by Nick Fiedler. In the beginning of the book, he and his wife go on a 14-month trip around the world. As they are packing and putting things into storage and throwing other things away, he realizes that he has a peculiar connection to his books.

His books are trophies. They are conquests. They are badges of honor. Ones he hasn't read still sit on the shelf because he wants to look more intelligent.

His books begin to define him and give him value.

There was a lot of thought-provoking stuff in that book but I think I connected the most with that one little anecdote.

I have a large bookshelf that is built into my wall. It was one of the things I was most excited about when I moved into my new room last year. I have a lot of books and it would be great to have a place to prominently display them. And like Nick, they are a source of pride for me. It is a good feeling having an 11-book series all displayed in order with the knowledge that I have actually read all of them. There is a nice boxed set of Lord of the Rings. There is a growing collection of books by N.T. Wright so you know that I am smart.

I have a bunch of books around that I have no intention of reading again but I think they might be of use to someone someday. Then I can be the cool person who lent the book to the other person and helped them fix their life.

Just make sure you give it back to me.

The shelves have a sort of order to them. The shelf in this story was the one with my practicum books and a few other random ones that didn't fit anywhere else like Bill Bryson's "A Short History of Nearly Everything" and Michael Crichton's "Timeline."

Last night I grabbed Timeline off the shelf to read the opening paragraph. I noticed that the book was stuck to the shelf. I gave it a good tug and it let go. As I turned it around to open it, I noticed dirt clods on the edges. I forced the book open, which broke the clods. What was in them? I am glad you asked!

Termites.

There were termites in my book! I inspected the shelf a little closer and noticed that they were building a colony out of my bookshelf.



A quick note: Here is a list of other things I have found in my house in the last few years: Kittens, spiders, giant spiders (notice how far south they are found), roaches, rats, a plague of flies (presumably from a dead rat. sick.), and flooding. This was a new one.

They were eating the binding on the books. It had been a while since I had looked closely at some of the books but they were literally rotting away on my shelf. It was disgusting.

My landlord came over and we picked up a chunk of books, threw them away and sprayed a termite killer on the shelf. This was repeated until we had them all.

All in all, I lost about 20 books. I have an empty shelf that is doubling as a termite graveyard.



And Jesus' words from the sermon on the mount started playing in my head.

19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

It was a eerie and very tangible reminder that the things we use to define ourselves are temporary. You never know when you will come home one day to find a termite colony eating your book collection.

Moral of the story? Termites are gross and don't put your hope in possessions.

A Choir as Big as The Internet

I sang in choir for about 9 years beginning my freshman year in high school. It changed my life. This composer wrote one of my favorite choral songs of all time. This is not it but it is still pretty dang cool. I want to see if I can get in on something like this. Enjoy!

Eric Whitacre: A choir as big as the Internet | Video on TED.com

What We Might REALLY Be Saying

The first thing I would like to do is completely undermine any shred of credibility I have ever had and say that I just purchased "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga on iTunes. Yes, you read that right. It is so freakin' catchy!

Now that I have all my unconfessed sin out in the open, I would like to share a thought I had today in church. It had nothing to do with the sermon. So to the guy who preached today, this is not about you buddy or anything you had to say. However, I totally tuned you out when I was writing all this stuff down. Sorry.

We like to say that following Jesus is first and foremost a relationship. On the whole, I like that description. I don't actually think we take it far enough most of the time but that is not the point.

My point is that through all our teaching on this "relationship," are we unintentionally totally undermining the entire thing with the way we do Sunday morning? Relationships are about interaction. They are about communication, spending time together, doing things together, living life together, figuring out and working through conflicts, celebrating. You know, the things you do with people you care about.

I am trying to think of any relationships I have that resemble a pastor giving a sermon.

Connection? If week after week after week the primary way we learn about God is through a monologue speech, doesn't that affect our perception of the subject of that monologue?

It is possible that I am making too big a leap in my logic but I think there might be something to it.

Many of us think God doesn't speak to us. We want someone to speak like a pastor does. We want him to lay out 3 key steps to improving our lives (preferably they all start with the same letter and end in "-tion"). But I think most people who "hear" from God experience something much more subtle and cryptic. Something more mysterious. Sometimes it is a picture or a word. Sometimes a passage of scripture just punched you in the face like it never did before. Sometimes a friend calls you out on something and you are able to see the world through new eyes.

Nor do my relationships resemble this. When was the last time you sat down with a friend and then launched into a sermon?

Which brings me to my next point. Sermons are not conversational. I don't know about your church, but at mine and MANY others I have been to, the whole set up on Sunday morning is about listening to one person. I do not interact with this person. I am not allowed to ask questions during the sermon.

Though maybe I should try sometime. Boy that would throw everyone off wouldn't it?

Do some of us struggle with seeing God as someone we can interact with? As someone we can't question or argue with? I believe we can, though we need to be prepared to get Job-like answers.

And in my relationships, I interact. I ask questions. I get asked questions. We deepen our relationship with each other. We get to know each other more. I don't know that I have ever felt like I knew my pastor better and had a deeper relationship with him after a sermon. He certainly doesn't know me any better. I probably know a little more ABOUT him and have heard some funny story about his kids or his family's frequent stops at In-n-Out burger on their vacations. But there is no deepening of relationship.

And because of that, neither of us are transformed.

When I get to interact with someone, the chances of me having a life-changing experience go up dramatically.

Now don't get me wrong. I love a good sermon. I love giving good ones. I want to be a better preacher. But I can't rely on that. I have to realize the limits of what it can do. I have to understand what I communicate that has nothing to do with the words I say.

The sermon must be accompanied by relationship. The sermon must be able to be challenged and questioned and wrestled with in the context of community and friendship.

So thanks pastor man this morning for giving me some space to think about this.

Sunday Morning

Nothing better than laughing at yourself right?

"Sunday's Coming" Movie Trailer from North Point Media on Vimeo.

Control Freak

I have been listening to and reading a lot of Tim Keller's stuff recently. I like that guy and I like that he used to be on InterVarsity Staff. Boo-yah!

When you read enough of someone or listen to them enough, you start to get a fuller picture of what is going on in their heads and hearts. You start to notice repeated themes and phrases. I have found this to be true with a lot of people like N.T. Wright, Rob Bell, and Pastor Keller.

One of the main things that Keller talks about is idols: Good things that become false gods in our lives. Money is not a bad thing. But when it becomes the most important thing in your life, we have a problem. The same can be said for things like relationships and success and patriotism. None of those are bad things but they can easily take the place of God in our lives.

But even these things are just a symptom of a greater idol.

And I think that for many of us, myself included, that idol is control.

(I will at this point stop talking about "we" and start referring to myself.)

I want to be in control of my life. I literally had that revelation tonight. I have never thought of myself as a person who wants to have control of my life but tonight that became uncomfortably clear to me.

You see, some people like to make schedules. Some people are very disciplined. That is their way of controlling their life. I don't like schedules. I don't like making "to do" lists. I don't like being disciplined. If you are familiar with Myers-Briggs personality stuff, I am the poster-boy for "P."

P's like flexibility and adapting to situations as they come. I don't like to schedule stuff because something more important or enjoyable might come up instead.

To cut to the point, when I DON'T schedule something or commit to something, I maintain control.

When I make a commitment to something, I chose to relinquish control to the commitment. If I decided to run a marathon, I would relinquish control to the training program.

And if I became more disciplined in my prayer life and time meditating on Scripture, I would be relinquishing control to God.

That might be the scariest one of all.

if I choose to obey God, I lose control. I no longer live life on my terms. And dammit, I want to live life on my terms! My terms say that in each moment, I should be able to do what I want. Sometimes what I want and what I am committed to line up and that is great. But what about when they don't? What about when God is leading me into something that is potentially unpleasant or uncomfortable?

I think I am a control freak! But a reverse control freak. I refuse to let anything else get in the way of what I want to do. I just never quite know what I want to do far enough in advance to schedule it.

So for me, the way to fight it is discipline. It is schedule. It is a list. It is reminding myself that my life is not about me. It is about God and where He is going and what He is doing.

My life is not my own. I was bought with a price.

So I just want to give a little apology to all my organized and scheduled friends who I thought had issues with control. Who knew I had such a big plank in my eye?

Can those things become idols for me? Sure. But I am going to go ahead and say that we are a long way from that being a problem.

Oh Lord have mercy! But this feels like a good discovery. Let's see where it takes me.